Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.
-author unknown
The demolition and site prep for Project Yellow starts next week. This requires an "all dance" as well as a formal name change. The primary house color is likely to change to a soft shade of tan although referring to it as Project "Tan" seems politically incorrect and reminiscent of the days of tanning bronzers and beds (therefore, wrong). Send suggestions if you've got 'em.
Landing my parachute here tomorrow where I'll be kicking off a Global Contracts & Supply Management team. I imagine there is going to be some transitional culture shock exchanging flexibility and flip flops for hierarchy and heels again but, I've prepared myself with satellite radio for the commute. Let's here it for renewed energy, perspective and Sirius (serious) XM!
Heading off to spend this last day of freedom open, curious and playing.
If it be knowledge or wisdom one is seeking, then one had better go directly to the source. And the source is not the scholar or philosopher, not the master, saint or teacher, but life itself -- direct experience of life--Henry Miller
It's a scary thing to go inward. There are some who can live their entire lives without the compulsion to ever do so.
I've written about the experience of this 40 and above growth spurt but, I've also kept alot of the scary and painful parts to myself. Preferring to share more of the color of the results. But, because you recently asked, I will tell you...yes, it was scary as hell (and still is at times); yes, it involved enormous amounts of pain; yes, there were buckets of tears; yes, it felt like diving into the abyss; yes, it is the most raw I ever felt in my life; yes, it still requires a great deal of hard work to stay connected to this new self. No, I don't really have it all figured out. I only know what I don't want.
So, who is this person who starts to surface? I do believe it is the person we spend the bulk of our lives trying to keep others from seeing. And, maybe this is the beginning of what real maturity feels like.
We reach a certain age and place where we can finally say, no one can hurt me anymore. We have already experienced the worst of it and that pain cannot be matched. We are bored with facades. We shed unnecessary layers off the onion. We no longer compromise our sense of self. We learn what makes us happy. We want more from our relationships with other people. And, we realize the only way to do all of this is to expose ourselves and let other people see the vulnerability.
Somehow this new place (with all of its uncertainity) starts to feel like the safest place in the world to be. The only place to be.
Keep in mind that the caveat to all of this is that I honestly know nothing. I just wake up every day and do the best I can to make it feel as real as it possibly can.
